Sharon’s son, George & Matt’s wife, Betsy
1/1/2020……. Betsy lost her husband Matt due to Alzheimer’s disease on the same exact day I lost my mother, Sharon due to Parkinson’s disease. It has bonded us together for life. We wanted to share our thoughts and ideas on tough topics in caregiving as well as send thoughts and prayers for others diagnosed and caregivers, so this BLOG was created in their memories.
The Tackling Tough Topics BLOG 1: Death with Dignity
1/6/2024
This blog is dedicated to all those caretakers caring for a loved one with any disease, to all of those diagnosed. We hear you; we see you and we will never stop fighting until there is a cure!
Sharon’s son, George:
My mother was diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease and late dementia also set in. Her final four years were very tough. She struggled and as her caregiver I did not know who to turn to or how to help get her the best care possible. We tried everything.
My mother was a strong and independent woman who lived alone and was able to lead a life without relying on others. She was diagnosed around 15 years prior to passing on 1/1/2020. The final four years her health declined and the final year of stage 5 of Parkinson’s disease was something no one should ever have to go through. Mom went from an avid walker to a cane to a walker to a wheelchair and finally to bed bound. The disease become so rapidly progressive that both doctors and our family found it extremely difficult to handle or even reason.
I research laws on death with dignity because the final seven days of mom’s life showed no signs except a heart best. It was agonizing to see her like that and to know in the United States that we treat our animals more compassionately than our loved ones sickens me still to this day. Only specific states including California, Colorado, District of Columbia, Hawaii, Maine, Montana, New Jersey, New Mexico, Oregon, Vermont and Washington. For more information see https://deathwithdignity.org
This difficult topic must be discussed more so individuals can gain awareness and never regret decisions but also have the right and ability to make such life ending choices on their own through knowledge and preparation. Sadly, many states still hold it illegal to end life with dignity. See https://deathwithdignity.org/states/
How can we bring change? Write your legislative representatives and demand attention to pass these laws and allow dignity for those in the final days of their lives. Loved ones with terminal diseases or significant end of life health such as in my mother’s case should not be additionally tortured but forcing them to breathe despite not being able to speak, use the bathroom, speak, move, open their eyes, function in any way that we live and with facts that show no reversal whatsoever of their health.
Matt’s wife, Betsy:
It is my own opinion that people should be allowed to die with dignity. I personally couldn’t do it and I know Matt wouldn’t have done it. I do understand why people choose to die on their own terms when they have a terminal illness.
My grandfather said to his doctor, ‘You shoot old dogs”. We must have these uncomfortable discussions until they become comfortable! Some people want to have their funeral or memorial services when alive. There are people who don’t want to suffer with deterioration and pain! People who have any kind of Dementia find it very difficult to have Dying with Dignity because of all the regulations. If someone is in the early stages, they should be able to decide for themselves. We don’t have to agree but please respect other people’s wishes!
Towards Matt’s end of life and in hospice I definitely understood why people would want the option of Death with Dignity.
Sometimes, I wish Matt would have chosen Death with Dignity instead of watching Matt suffer and deteriorate! I am not saying Matt’s life didn’t have value! It is very heartbreaking to watch your loved suffering and your loved one doesn’t want to suffer either!
Please plan how you want your end of life to look like! What measures do you want or don’t want!
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George’s Biography
Dr. George Ackerman is from Brooklyn, N.Y. Now residing in Florida, he works in the fields of law, police, and education. George lost his mother, Sharon Riff Ackerman on 1/1/2020 due to Parkinson’s Disease.
George wanted to honor his mother and continue to help in the Parkinson’s awareness cause and did not know how to bring change. With my family, we started TogetherForSharon® as a family for the purpose of keeping my mother, Sharon Riff Ackerman’s, memory alive and to share the message of Parkinson’s Awareness and hope for a cure.
Today https://www.togetherforsharon.com/ reaches thousands of individuals across the country for PD Awareness. George currently interviews individuals throughout the Parkinson’s community including various foundations, caregivers, and Parkinson’s warriors to help share their stories and causes.
Betsy’s Biography
Betsy Wurzel is a graduate of Middlesex County Voc-Tech High School where she received License Practical Nurse training and diploma. Betsy has worked in various hospitals and worked in a state facility caring for the severally disabled clients.
Betsy began her advocacy when her husband Matt was diagnosed with Early Onset Alzheimer’s and was disappointed and frustrated with the medical community. Betsy created and founded # Kick Alzheimer’s Ass Movement Group on Facebook in February 2019 so no one should ever walk their journey alone during caregiving or after caregiving!
Betsy was discovered by Jeanne M White who is Station Manager of Passionate World Talk Radio in June 2018. Betsy talked weekly on Jeanne White ‘s Caregiver Connect series and encouraged other caregivers to share their stories. Betsy started Chatting with Betsy show in September 2019. Betsy wants people to know there are resources out there to help them and they are not alone! Chatting with Betsy covers a variety of topics. Betsy was nominated for the Caregiving Visionary Advocate Award in Nov, 2021and received the award!
Matt was and will always be my inspiration for all I do!