Sharon’s son, George & Matt’s wife, Betsy
1/1/2020……. Betsy lost her husband Matt due to Alzheimer’s disease on the same exact day I lost my mother, Sharon due to Parkinson’s disease. It has bonded us together for life. We wanted to share our thoughts and ideas on tough topics in caregiving as well as send thoughts and prayers for others diagnosed and caregivers, so this BLOG was created in their memories.
The Tackling Tough Topics BLOG 4: The importance of self-care.
4/2024
This blog is dedicated to all those caretakers caring for a loved one with any disease, to all of those diagnosed. We hear you; we see you and we will never stop fighting until there is a cure!
Sharon’s son, George:
Self-care is a very important part of caregiving. Many days I did not think about my own needs because all I wanted was to make sure my mother was comfortable and doing well. In the back of my mind, very far back I thought if I do not get rest, exercise, or keep my own sanity then it would affect my mother and entire family for the worse.
Self-care is thought of as the crucial part of coping with daily events, happenings, and daily life. Each of us is affected differently due to stressors. It can be caregiving for a loved one, bills, work or entertaining your children, which I still stress over daily. However, when I was caring for my mother some of my own stressors were unveiled though trying to navigate the medical system for mom, trying to find answers on how to help her health, entertainment and just ensuring she had the best quality of life until the end which I never dreamed would have come so early in her life due to Parkinson’s and dementia.
I have always loved sports and playing basketball. I recall on a Sunday morning I was gearing up to play with friends and it already took an hour to put on all the ankle braces. This was my one outlet and for a few hours on early Sundays to get my stress out through sports. As I was about to leave to play, my mother called franticly upset due to her battel and weekly it seemed I would have to sacrifice my own health to help mom. I do not regret it but looking back I may have failed in many of the aspects of self-care, which is very unhealthy.
The World Health Organization defines self-care as: “the ability of individuals, families, and communities to promote health, prevent disease, maintain health, and cope with illness and disability with or without the support of a health worker” (World Health Organization, 2022). Self-care includes everything related to staying physically healthy — including hygiene, nutrition, and seeking medical care when needed. It’s all the steps an individual can take to manage stressors in his or her life and take care of his or her own health and well-being.
Furthermore, there are a variety of areas that focus within self-care.
- Emotional self-care, such as self-talk, weekly bubble baths, saying “no” to things that cause unnecessary stress, giving yourself permission to take a pause, or setting up a weekly coffee date with a friend
- Physical self-care, such as prioritizing sleep, adopting an exercise routine you can stick with, or choosing healthy and nourishing foods over highly processed ones
- Spiritual self-care, such as attending a religious service, spending time in nature, meditating, incorporating regular acts of kindness into your day, or keeping a gratitude journal (Ellin, 20022).
My recommendation is to set aside some time daily to take care of yourself. Whether eating healthy, fitness, music, movies… find the one thing that can take your mind off life for a few moments. It is critical again to ensure you can give the best care to your loved one.
Matt’s wife, Betsy:
There certainly is a lot to discuss about self-care and how important it is! In my opinion, Self-care is literally a matter of life and death for the caregiver! That’s how important and serious self-care is!
If you want to enjoy life during caregiving and especially after caregiving you must take care of yourself! Caregivers have every right to enjoy life after caregiving! Unfortunately, many caregivers die during caregiving or have health problems after caregiving due to stress causing health problems! Taking care of yourself and making yourself a priority is not selfish but self-preservation! Yes, it is challenging finding a balance and not to feel guilty for having to take time for yourself to recharge your batteries!
Here are some suggestions:
Keep up with your preventive medical care visits and dental visits.
If you are having difficulty with mental health care issues please go for counseling.
Caregiving is difficult and sometimes we need someone to help us.
Do what feeds your soul!
What sets your soul on fire?
Take a hobby, go for a walk, meditate, and go out with friends!
Take time to deep breathe.
There are many videos about deep breathing that will help calm you down.
Live in the present but have your eye on the future.
Take each moment at a time.
Join support groups in person if possible and online.
I know it helps to know that you are not alone!
I am very grateful to be alive and healthy after taking care of my mother-in -law and my husband. I do have a chronic cough and lung problems which I believe is how my stress came out during caregiving. Please make yourself a priority! Your life depends on it!
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George’s Biography
Dr. George Ackerman is from Brooklyn, N.Y. Now residing in Florida, he works in the fields of law, police, and education. George lost his mother, Sharon Riff Ackerman on 1/1/2020 due to Parkinson’s Disease.
George wanted to honor his mother and continue to help in the Parkinson’s awareness cause and did not know how to bring change. With my family, we started TogetherForSharon® as a family for the purpose of keeping my mother, Sharon Riff Ackerman’s, memory alive and to share the message of Parkinson’s Awareness and hope for a cure.
Today https://www.togetherforsharon.com/ reaches thousands of individuals across the country for PD Awareness. George currently interviews individuals throughout the Parkinson’s community including various foundations, caregivers, and Parkinson’s warriors to help share their stories and causes.
Betsy’s Biography
Betsy Wurzel is a graduate of Middlesex County Voc-Tech High School where she received License Practical Nurse training and diploma. Betsy has worked in various hospitals and worked in a state facility caring for the severally disabled clients.
Betsy began her advocacy when her husband Matt was diagnosed with Early Onset Alzheimer’s and was disappointed and frustrated with the medical community. Betsy created and founded # Kick Alzheimer’s Ass Movement Group on Facebook in February 2019 so no one should ever walk their journey alone during caregiving or after caregiving!
Betsy was discovered by Jeanne M White who is Station Manager of Passionate World Talk Radio in June 2018. Betsy talked weekly on Jeanne White ‘s Caregiver Connect series and encouraged other caregivers to share their stories. Betsy started Chatting with Betsy show in September 2019. Betsy wants people to know there are resources out there to help them and they are not alone! Chatting with Betsy covers a variety of topics. Betsy was nominated for the Caregiving Visionary Advocate Award in Nov, 2021and received the award!
Matt was and will always be my inspiration for all I do!
References
Ellin, A (2022). Speaking With Purpose: How Words Camn Build You Up or Tear You Down. Retrieved from https://www.dailyom.com/journal/speaking-with-purpose/
World Health Organization (2022). Self-care interventions for health. Retrieved from https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/self-care-health-interventions